Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Paula in charge

"But you're always in charge," is something I keep hearing lately. Why? Well, because it's true. I'm always in charge, always in control. It's not that I want to be, it just always happens that way. Someone needs to make a decision, I step up and decide. Being in charge began at a very young age with my dad constantly reminding me, "you're responsible for your sister and brothers-you're in charge!" So, it's in my nature to be in control. 

Then my daughter hits me between the eyes, "Mom, you don't always have to make things happen! You need to just relax, be patient and don't always be in control!" (she was advising me on dating, ugh). However, she made a valid point, I am realizing that I need to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride...and not jump to take control of the situation. 

This is tougher than I thought. Again, it's not that I want to be in charge, I just... am.... Especially when it comes to my personal life. I get anxious about stuff and just take control. Until God reminds me that He actually is the one in charge. I am reminded that when I take charge of my own life, I take away from the plans He has for me. And I'm realizing that I am not as patient as I thought I was. 

Great, not only do I need to learn to let go of control, but I need to learn to be patient too! 

After all: 

30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 
34  Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.     *Matthew 6:30, 34

Look, I know I'm the kind of person who just naturally takes charge, but I also need to be reflective and willing to change, or improve myself--learn to take a breath, learn to let someone else take charge and I need to be kind. Part of this is learning that God is in control and will provide. Oh how I am blessed with this truth every day! God provides! He is in control. 

So, sit back, relax, be patient, and let someone else drive... I think I can do that.