Yesterday I attended the wedding of my friend's daughter. The bride asked me to make 200+ cupcakes for the reception. It was an exhausting task, but I found myself so fulfilled to be able to contribute. I felt like I was part of the marriage celebration. Watching this lovely couple begin their journey together just brought joy to my heart. It was a very significant day for me, but for a very different reason than you might think.
October 10, 2000: I took the first step in ending my marriage. The boys and I packed our stuff in my car, and we came home. Three days before, I was on the phone with my sister and her husband, talking this through, and listening to Lloyd say, "Leave now, come home, we're here to help." So, I did. Ironically, deciding to leave was not the difficult choice, I knew I had to leave. The most difficult choice that I finally made was to not go back. It took another two weeks to painstakingly decide and accept that my marriage story was finished.
Wow, some 180 degree turn of events, huh?
Look, for anyone who's ever experienced divorce, whether it was yours, your parents, friends, family members, you know that it's not fun, easy, simple, or something you want to re-live ever again. It feels like you're a piece of paper being torn to shreds. A very, very long piece of paper. Being torn constantly. It's a story with a very unhappy ending. And in the end, even if you think this is a good thing, there is still shredded pain that must be taped together and healed.
Or just get another piece of paper and start over.
Watching a newly married couple dance their first dance as husband and wife, watching as that story began, full of love, joy and intentions of a beautiful life together just warmed my heart. For me, it was hoping that marriage can work--it does work. This wedding is just the beginning, and just a corner of the many pages of what could be a great marriage story.
Don't get me wrong, I know well enough that we humans are selfish and proud. In the years of marriage, many pages will get bent, torn, burnt and ripped. My prayer for this young couple is that they will work together, and with God's glue and tape, more pages will be added to their story and last a lifetime. Because that's what marriage is, a grand story that begins with God's hand on 2 people coming together in love, and the willingness to work together to build unlimited pages in a beautiful story.
And those bent, torn, slightly burnt pages--if the book is still bound, it's a grand story: filled with joy, excitement and turmoil. With characters that, if they're willing to do the work, and let God work through them, can live happily ever after.
Hey! I can't help it! I still love happy endings! Reality or not-that's what a story is all about!
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