An interesting thing happened in class today...

There was a minor incident right before class began this morning. Actually, it was so minor it really doesn't bear worth mentioning, but it struck me as strange. In fact, so odd I decided to write about it and maybe get some feed back from you:

Students were filtering into the class, no prof yet. One student, a woman (she looks to be a few years older than me) walked in holding up a textbook for this class and loudly announced she found it outside the door. The young girl sitting one seat over on my right put up her hand and said, "Oh that's mine, oh I'm sorry! Oh thank you so much!"

The woman (whom neither of us know because she sits on the other side of the classroom) walked up to where the girl was sitting and slammed the book on the table in front of the girl. She slammed so hard that I, the girl, and at least 3 other students sitting around us jumped. The woman continued to walk to the far end of the table where she usually sits, looked at the students on that end and loudly proclaimed, "Once a mother, always a mother" then sat down. I watched the girl sitting next to me-she put her head down and didn't look back up. I waited a few minutes and asked the girl if she was ok. She said yes, and that she also heard the woman's statement after. I reassured her that not all mothers are like that, and that the woman's response was probably more about her and not about the girl. The girl smiled at me, said thank you, and the professor walked in.

This just keeps bugging me! I thought about myself, what kind of mother I am, not to mention how I treat others around me. In class, it's natural for me to lend a pen or paper, or stapler. I even gave a young man a cough drop once. If I found a book outside the door, I'd bring it in, find out who it belonged to and say, "here you go sweetie." (yes, I do say sweetie to the young students-especially if I don't remember their names).

Then again, there are times when I am...well...impatient. You know those times: like being in a hurry and wanting to drive 70 on the freeway when every other car is driving 60 and you can't get around them and you get impatient (well, I do). Do I really want them hearing what I'm saying to them? (Olga would be laughing at me right now because she knows what I'm saying and she just tells me to relax and don't worry. We'll get there when we get there.)

But the point is: Do I want them hearing what I'm saying? Should I be saying what I'm saying? Do I want to turn into that woman?

I definitely don't think I'm that kind of mom. AND I don't want to be that kind of person.

Impulse

"What did you do!!!?" Says my 19 year old son, Ethan, after seeing my new hair cut. He was very upset. My only saving grace-he liked the color. Red, of course.

Yesterday, I made the impulsive decision to chop off most of my hair. My hair has never, in my entire life, been this short. Plus all 3 of my children  have told me that I MUST have long hair.

But there was a very important reason for my decision to cut my hair: Because my sister doesn't have any.

By the way, please don't tell my sister I wrote this, she'd kill me for being this transparent and to be honest, she really isn't the total reason I did it.

Allow me to begin at, well, the beginning of my story:  For many weeks I had been thinking about ways to show support for my sister as she fights breast cancer. I could lose weight-I have plenty. I could get more exercise, etc...and I confess, I was pretty much half-hearted about it all. Then I had a check up a couple of weeks ago. My blood-pressure is high. Not too high, but just out of the "normal" range. The doctor isn't too concerned, but I will need to check it in 6 weeks. She asked about my stress level and how much exercise I get. When I told her about life for the past few months, she understood. That was the beginning of a wake up call for me.

Then I did my first breast cancer walk last weekend. Jen, my sister, was there. She had a beautiful white and pink head dressing and was ready to walk the 5k. She had been in bed for 5 days after beginning a new chemo "cocktail." All I could think was...this is my baby sister-her stress level is 1000 times more than mine right now! If she can be here and do this, I need to do more. My body made it through the walk, but I huffed and puffed as my best friend, Olga, pushed me. And Jen just kept walking. After that, I whole-heartedly decided to keep up a walking regime-walk at least every other day. I need to be healthy for me, first and foremost, but I also need to be healthy for my sister.

The 5k was Sunday. I walked Monday. On Tuesday, I didn't walk, but I started thinking about my hair. What if I just cut my hair really short (Hey, I love my sister, but my hair is very fine. If I buzz it, it may not grow back!) and keep it short until Jen's hair begins to grow again? I talked to my friend, Amy, about it that night. She thought it was a great idea. Maybe I'll wait until Jen finishes chemo, then cut it. Amy reminded me that Jen doesn't have any hair now.

I wake up Wednesday morning and that's all I think about. I realize that if I don't do this now, I'll lose the nerve and not do it at all. I call Amy, thinking we'll go when she gets off work. Then I see my mom at Target and I tell her that I think I should go right at that moment (it was about 1pm) and she offers to go with me. On impulse, I just do it. I tell the stylist the story. She cries. After she cuts it, I cry. Hey-my hair is gone, what do you expect me to do!

So, it's time for life changes. Get more exercise. Be active. And get a hair cut every 6 weeks to keep it super short until Jen's hair starts growing back. I may need to get a job just to keep up with the hair cuts, but it will be worth it.

Yes, I love being impulsive.

4 days of nothing...

Today is a good hair day. Simply due to the fact that I had much leisure time this morning and was not rushed into a quick flat iron or pony tail.

Every Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday are completely open. Well, not completely, but it's not like I have kids to rush to games, or school, or work...Ok, ok. It's not all nothingness. I do have a ton of reading to do (English major, duh!) and Geography of China homework. Yesterday, Friday morning, I went on a field trip with my Geo class-a Buddhist temple, but when I arrived home, there was no one there and I reveled in the solitude. Quiet.

This morning, like most Saturday mornings, I woke up to my neighbor's phone call to either make sure I was up so she could come over for coffee, or have a quick discussion over plans for the day. I drank coffee, finished reading a book for a class, and contemplated my weekly schedule. I joyously listened to the silence, and loved the nothingness. Most of the time, these 4 days are just nothing. Studying, laundry, cooking, solitude. I started reading Shakespeare's Tempest.

Now it's late Saturday evening. After spending the day reading, hanging out with my neighbor, I am now sitting in an empty house...again. My hair is up, Netflix is on.

Sundays are great. Church, lunch with my boys. But this Sunday I'm off to Jen's. A breast cancer walk.

Monday I'm going to try a monkey bread recipe I found online. Read some more Tempest. And Ben Franklin's Autobiography. I definitely prefer Shakespeare.

(By the way, British Lit is my favorite class. In the last class meeting, I got a little excited about what we're reading and my classmate joked that I was possibly born in the wrong century.)

Ok, so there's a few somethings, but I guess it feels like nothing.

I am truly blessed.