Then there's instant. Oh, there are some good instant coffees out there, but...well...I'm sorry, but it just isn't the same as a fresh brewed cup of coffee. Coffee is definitely worth the wait!
Now you're wondering what in the world am I getting at-instant coffee is not that big of a deal. Sure, it may not be the best cup of coffee, but when I'm in a pinch, and want that coffee right now, instant is great when I don't want to wait. But is getting what I want instantly really worth it? Am I truly satisfied with instant coffee? I don't know about you, but I am never satisfied with instant coffee.
What about all the other "instant" stuff? You know, you've heard the terms. Let's see, there's "Instant gratification." Yeah right. Look, I'm not a psychiatrist, or a philosopher and getting too profound just makes my head hurt, but from what I can see-or what my life experiences have taught me is that instant gratification (or being gratified by a want or need or desire instantly) is rarely (dare I say never) fully gratifying. In fact, all that instant gratification does is make you want more, make you more dissatisfied, and (dare I say) make you act like a spoiled brat when you don't get what you want right now!
Then there's the term "Instant Intimacy." I almost laugh when I see this because there's no such thing. Sure, it's happened. You jump into something way too fast, get way too deep, then freak out and it all falls apart. In fact, when you're swept into searching for any kind of intimacy in an instant, you end up dissatisfied. There is the argument that it can work, it can develop into something wonderful and long lasting, but the point is LOOOONNNG! It takes time to develop. It takes time to learn to communicate, work and get along. It also takes time to heal.
That's how I know that the whole "instant" thing doesn't work. We humans can't heal, or grieve instantly. We can't just shed a few tears and be over it. We can't just put a bandage on it and be recovered. It rarely (dare I say never) works.
Today (other than it's my daughter's birthday and I mention her in my blog from Valentine's day so look back and you can read more about Jennifer) is a huge day for my family. One year ago my dad had his surgery to remove part of his pancreas. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. While my dad was in surgery, my sister was at her doctor's office being told she has breast cancer. My dad died from complications of the surgery. My sister has finished treatment and is in recovery.
I have learned that grieving is a long process. It is different for everybody, but it is most definitely long. (Dare I say) No one, not anyone, absolutely no one can grieve instantly. It takes time. Sure, maybe it's a year or two, or maybe 10 years or longer, but it is a process that we must go through, and if we don't, we just make it harder for ourselves to live. Sure, we want to just make it go away, or get over it, fix it, but we can't fix grief. We'll have those moments when we're ok, but we'll also have those moments when we aren't and we must let it work through. Healing is the same. Especially with cancer. Jen went through 6 months of chemo, 6 weeks of radiation and is about to have her 2nd surgery. There's just not a magic pill that she can take to get over this. She had to go through the healing process. She's still going through it. We all are. Right now we all wish my dad was here for Jen. For all of us. So we work through it together and love on my sister.
It was this epiphany about grief and healing that got me thinking about how we humans just aren't made to have things happen instantly. Everything about life: growing up, learning, loving, working, etc...all takes time. When we try to circumvent that and make things happen instantly, it eventually just doesn't work. We're dissatisfied, or spoiled brats or just mentally messed up.
So now what? Go brew a nice cup of perc'd coffee and I thank God that He's given me what I need to live, love, grow, learn, grieve and heal.
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