When a man loves

"So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself." Ephesians 5:28 

Why am I sharing this bible verse? Because it came to mind as I watched my friend, Monica's husband dote on her during a recent visit. I've seen these two together in the past, and the happiness on Monica's face was always very clear-she loved her husband. But the last time I saw them, she was in the throes of battling cancer. She was recovering, but her body was ravaged and healing. As I visited with them, I watched him as he sat close to her during dinner. The love and deep concern on his face as he stroked her cheek, encouraging her to eat while she and I tried to have a girly conversation about grandchildren, children and boobs.  It was a wonderful visit, but I mostly remember his face. It was evident to anyone who paid attention-he truly loves her and would do anything for her. The great thing about watching these two together-she never once winced from him, or frowned or became exasperated. I could see that she knew he loved her. 

It reminded me of my parents' marriage. They were married 47 years until dad passed away. All four of us kids knew that my mom was the love of his life. He was silly in showing her ways how he loved her-even making out with her in the kitchen, which sort of embarrassed my mom (and us, ew!) if we were around, but we could tell she loved him too. They were both strong-headed, but knew how to make up and get over it. He did whatever it took to make her happy. 

So is this kind of love a rare thing? I don't think so. I think that both of these men just knew what they had and understood the work and commitment it took to love their wives. And I don't think it's as old-fashioned or out-dated as modern society makes it out to be.

My son, Ethan, has been with his girlfriend, Jasmin for 3 years. I knew a long time ago that this girl was the one for him. The evidence on his face and in his actions is very clear. He loves her. Last Thanksgiving I watched as she sat in the living room while he dished up her dinner to give to her-because that's what he does for her. And she knows he loves her-she smiles and watches him in a way that I know she's happy. Then a few months later, after Ethan's graduation, I'm visiting with Jasmin's mom and she says to me, "Ethan is such a good man! He spoils Jasmin, and loves her and does so much for her! He is so wonderful!" My son, at 24 years old is proof enough for me to believe that even in the young, there is hope for love.

Look, I'm not saying it's easy. It definitely isn't. Ethan and Jasmin are two young people trying to navigate adulthood, making ends meet and then deal with both of their moms pressuring them into marriage and more grand babies. My mom lost the love of her life, and sometimes thinking about the good times is heart breaking. Monica and her husband have weathered storms that only those who have battled cancer would understand-it's wretched, horrendous, and that they both have made it through together-that's a feat in itself.

But God knew what He was doing when He commanded men to love. When a man loves, and a woman loves him back--there is evidence in the endurance in the complications of life.

Day 3 of a week of writing.