You get more bees with honey

There's all kinds of variations of this saying:
more bees with honey
more flies with honey
you CATCH more bees/flies with honey than with vinegar

There are also very many definitions of origins of what that saying means, but I like to think that it has to do with our words-how we communicate with each other. There's this one definition from dictionary.com

"You can win people to your side more easily by gentle persuasion and flattery than by hostile confrontation."

If you know me very well, you know how good I am at smiling my sweet smile, saying "pretty please" to get people to do what I want them to do. Hey-I got the bartender at a Dodger game to let me taste all of the beers on tap before buying! Just a little flattery and a smile-I know exactly what I'm doing!

The reality is, though, that bees sting (hey, it's me, Captain Obvious!) and we are all afraid of bees when they flutter by, because of that sting. But that same bee is an incredible value to our environment. It's because of that bee that our beautiful flowers continue to bloom, or the oranges and lemons continue to grow on the trees in the backyard, and also creates that lusciously sweet honey that we all know and love. I have a deep respect for the bee.

And when that bee feels threatened or attacked, it's gonna sting. When we accidentally step on it, it fights back in the only way it knows how-by stinging as it gives up its own life.

What do we do when we feel attacked by someone's words? We fight back, with our entire sting, until we shut down and have no more to give. Maybe not in that instant, sometimes we fester it, until we have the opportune moment of being underfoot and we can sting back when it really counts, and risk getting stepped on. And everyone ends up hurt, swollen with brokenness.

Throughout my life I've had to practice various types of communication as a mom, daughter, wife, friend, manager, leader, teacher, etc... and there's is one thing I have learned: to be kind and respectful in my approach to how I communicate, in the words that I use. Especially when the words are going to sting.

And there are times when I must have words with someone that, no matter what I do, are going to sting with correction or constructive criticism. The trick is knowing how to communicate so those words will have a better outcome in the future. That in being firm and respectful, I'm expressing the sweet opportunity for growth. My goal-to encourage them to improve, change focus and bloom. They may not like what they hear, but they can grow from it, even if it's not pretty at first. In the end, I want them to bloom like the blossoms on the rose bushes, not wither in defeat and sadness.

Look, all I know is I get more bees with honey than with vinegar.

Day 2 of a week of writing.