It was just a long day, that's all.
As I lay in bed, watching some random show on Netflix, I realize the time and--oh crap--I need to write in my blog today. Oh why did I commit to this writing every day for a week?! I feel so yucky even my fingers hurt. Ugh. Okay, I get my computer out and start writing at 11:25pm.
This got me thinking about a conversation with an old friend a few weeks ago. We were talking about getting older and he said, "You know, I don't feel as old as I am, I mean, I'm getting older, but I don't think I'm older." I found myself agreeing with him! I want so bad to just keep going and going. Hey-when I was younger I could work a full day, do homework and play all night! And you know what? I still can!
Okay, no, I can't. I don't want to.
And it's not that I'm too old, it's too much work! And I would pay for it for a few days.
Okay, it's cuz I'm too old.
I'll compromise. Since I'm done with school, I'll just work all day and play all night.
Just not tonight cuz I feel like crap. Maybe in a couple of days.
My dad struggled with this too. He would get so frustrated with getting older. He hated that he didn't feel old, or think old, as his age crept up on him, it was hard for him to accept. I find myself thinking the same way.
The other epiphany is this: I want to stay young at heart. I may be getting older, but I can still live. I can still enjoy the things that bring me joy. I'll go out, play, run, chase grandchildren and hot dudes (ok, not so much chase hot dudes...well, maybe flirt with them) and enjoy being young at heart.
And not think about how old I actually am. Cuz feeling like crap sucks.
I'll try to focus on thinking about flirting with hot dudes.
Day 4 of a week of writing.
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